Tuesday, May 05, 2009

A weight limit on the Supreme Court?

I watch enough reality TV, read enough trashy tabloids and witness a sufficient number of Alli commercials * to realize these things about contemporary American society:

- That the most impressive achievement a woman can ever mark is to give birth and lose the baby weight in record time.

- That a health and medicine section in Borders will be 95% diet guides, 5% books covering all other known medical conditions.

- That Jessica Simpson would have never made the cover of Vanity Fair if she was still rocking those unfortunate high-waisted jeans.

But surely some places are sacred. Surely in the Supreme Court, justice should be blind and the key qualification for serving should not be "looking like Heather Locklear in a black robe."

"Justice may be blind, but not when it comes to weight. Paul Campos reports on the bizarre campaign to find a woman to replace David Souter on the High Court—as lonas she’s thin."

Read the whole thing here.

Particularly interesting, the "it's all about health" argument:

At The Washington Monthly, a commentator claimed to have employed a more scientifically rigorous method: “To all the short-sighted libs who are clamoring for the youngest-possible nominee... Right idea, wrong methodology. You want someone who will serve the longest, i.e. with the greatest remaining life expectancy—and that involves more than simple age. I tried assessing their respective health prospects, and ruled out all who even border on overweight. Best choice: Kim McLane Wardlaw, whose ectomorphitude reflects her publicly known aerobic-exercise habits.”

Under this rationale, Madonna's personal trainer should be appointed to the bench - and use that bench as an aerobics step for twice-daily cardio conditioning.

* The A stands for "Ask your doctor about the oily discharge"...otherwise known as involuntary poo.


At 11:29 PM, Anonymous katjjames said...

I believe the term when olestra first came out was "anal leakage" aka "OMG I just crapped my pants".

Love the blog, and be careful, Farrah Faucet was physically fit by all standards...you just never know


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