Friday, December 08, 2006

30,000 Feet Up: You can tell a lot about a culture by its Skymall catalog...

We like our fashion functional:
- All-season moisturizing gloves and socks, $39.95
- The battery-heated vest, $129.95
- The wearable blanket, $49.95
- Brightfeet lighted slippers, $39.95

We have a sense of adventure:
- The CSU young investigator's forensic/DNA kit, $59.95

How did these get into a family catalog?
- The hands-free binocular glasses, $119.95
- Low-light clip-on glasses to "enhance your night vision", $24,95
- Aerogarden (with automatic on/off grow lights), $149.00

Our pets are lazy:
- The pet staircase, $149.95
- The wicker pet staircase, $99.95
- Pet Wheel-Away travel set, $149.95

If it's a food product, it deserves its own cooking/serving device:
- Battery-powered automatic cereal dispenser, $77.95
- White chocolate/dark chocolate double-auger fountain, $99.99
- The marshmallow shooter, $24.95
- Soymilk maker/grinder, $129.99 (bag of soybeans not included)

But our diets need more fiber:
- The toilet paper dispenser/iPod docking station, $99.99

We'll collect anything:
- Captain Jack Sparrow's ring collection, $95-$129
- Bon Jovi "Have a Nice Day" gold record wall hanging, $199.99

But do we have too much disposable income?
- The best electronic pants presser $479.95 (!!!!)
- Thomas Kinkade "The Night Before Christmas" talking house, $134.95 ("Your taste in art sucks," it says.)

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At 12:55 PM, Anonymous media concepts said...

Marshmallow shooter -- does it shoot marshmallows into your mouth? Is that supposed to remove the last few calories one could possibly burn eating marshmallows, i.e., the lifting of the marshmallow to one's mouth? I guess there's still the act of chewing.

Captain Jack Sparrow's ring collection -- isn't it obvious? The is for nights out at the Pirate Bar, of course!


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