Monday, April 14, 2008

Why I am so very wrong for my neighborhood listserv...

"Need driver for kids and household help"

** Because I lack a car, children AND a maid...

(I need help finding someone to drive around... and) set table,

** The couch is for eating. My table serves as but a pedestal for old Vanity Fair magazines, the quarterly statements of my now-ravaged mutual funds and bobbleheads.

make salads,

** Why would I need salads made when I can walk to Panera?

do laundry,

** Point taken - that would be cool

and generally provide an extra set of helpful hands around our busy house.

** There is nothing busy about this lazy apartment. And an extra set of helpful hands just free-floating around would simply creep me out.

Top priority is reliable, safe, legal driver.

** I don't know about you, shallow people, but MY top priority is world peace.

Great English isn't necessary

** Excuse me? I think any driver/table-setter/salad-maker needs to be able to speak in iambic pentameter.

Declining standards these days...

5 Comments:

At 10:13 PM, Blogger media concepts said...

Hilarious post! I may now have nightmares about floating pairs of hands.

 
At 2:27 PM, Anonymous KCinDC said...

I saved this one from my neighborhood list from years ago:

Re: [Cleveland-Park] A little girls (under nine)pink room for sale

My nine year old daughter Conner is going for Moroccan- Moderne theme in her
newly renovated room.


Her previous room is beautiful pink with a William and Morris rug designed in pastels, fabulous painted whimsical armoire from ABC in NY, Claire Murray alphabet and small rugs, Unique and girl inspired lamps, Tin Mexican lighting, Vermont twin bed with trundle and desks, and large maple bureau, tall pink Indian drum to play and sit on, beautiful Scalamandre floral drapery, and royal Pailais Pinks and green down comforter etc. and more..

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger globalchameleon said...

That is outstanding! I don't know where to begin, with the extra "e" at the end of modern, the Indian drum, the Vermont twin bed. I think my bedroom as a nine-year-old was Barbie-and-legos-moderne

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger Hammer said...

Your bobbleheads are ravaged?! I blame your recent Ovechkin acquisition. Clearly, his satanic reign of terror has already begun.

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger globalchameleon said...

He does fit in with the post-Soviet Moderne decorating motif (however rowdy)

 

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