Ode to Bethesda

In my off-blog existence, I joke about this wealthy suburb frequently (but out of love, baby, out of love).

Like the top-security-access restrooms – even in the most innocuous buildings. If Osama’s declaring a war on shabby chic, thank God the Blue House is secure. {ed note: you buy stuff at the Blue House}

The pampered dogs at places with names like “Bone du Jour” {ed note: you think those dogs are cute}

The pampered people everywhere else. Duck! That’s a pink yoga mat swinging your way. {ed note: you go to Unity Woods. All in all, you are a hypocrite in this post.}

And the lack of regard for stop signs. If I had a quarter for every time a fleet of Lexi nearly mowed me down crossing the street for a coffee, I’d be able to actually afford a condo here. Maybe even a single-family detached home.

Enough negativity. Two things (besides vast restaurant selection) Bethesda does very, very right:

Libraries:
The one near downtown is a frickin’ palace – like a Barnes & Noble without the espresso bar. Every public library should be like this…and it makes me mad when they are not. Like in Charleston, SC (down the street from Armani, too!) and in several neighborhoods in the District. These “public houses of learning” look like shacks out of a 1970s documentary about Haiti, whose few scattered, antiquated books just look as though they reek of mold and were rejected from a prison GED program. I know that tax base realities have a lot to do with these discrepancies – nevertheless, this is a shameless slap in the face to the citizens purportedly “served.”

“Hey, poor people! Yeah, we don’t want you to read. You know that, of course. But we thought we’d just make it blindingly obvious that we want to keep you stupid and oppressed. Now you just go back to 7-11 and your trans-fat-filled chips and your mindless court TV shows.”

So Montgomery County's commitment to good libraries almost make me happy as I fill out my tax forms. (Almost. That crazy local tax - percentage of gross income! - makes one longingly reminisce about the Ron Paul blimp.)

BethesdaGreen:
Not money, silly. Sustainability. Bethesda has launched BethesdaGreen. It’s a group, it’s a blog, it’s businesses, it’s events.
Better yet, let them explain; here’s the website.

Now if only they could get their parking ticket SWAT force to chill out. For a person who drags out the Zipcar maybe twice a month, what I spend on overdue meters might be able to finance a small Hyundai at this point. Or, given Bethesda's new focus, a Prius..