Sunday, November 23, 2008

What the vacuum tube hath wrought...

If the original creators of the television only knew what their ingenuity unleashed upon the airwaves...

...would there be a massive THUMP of rolling-in-the-grave?

You be the judge - and guess which among Sunday night's line-up is NOT a real show:

Discovery Health Channel:
a. Pregnant for 46 Years
b. Pregnant Man
c. I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant
d. Extreme Epidurals

The Learning Channel:
a. Girl Who Never Grew
b. World's Smallest People
c. Joined for Life - Abby and Britney
d. One Head, Two Faces

Animal Planet:
a. Untamed and Uncut
b. Whale Wars
c. Weird, True and Freaky
d. Weirder, Truer and Freakier

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I am David Brooks...

…and you will rip my latte from my cold, dead hand.

Today the thought-provoking columnist (no sarcasm intended – I like his op-eds) wrote about the former middle class.

Back in August, I wrote about this very same subject, “I Can’t Be Poor, I Have a Master’s Degree,” kvetching about my “lifestyle reversal” as a grad school refugee in the last recession, the “self doubt” that came from three months of people asking if I’d gotten a job yet, and the “drop in social capital” that happens when you can’t afford sports tickets, expensive restaurants or marquee concerts like a good little yuppie.

What will the former middle class face in this recession?

“They will suffer lifestyle reversals. Over the past decade, millions of Americans have had unprecedented access to affordable luxuries, thanks to brands like Coach, Whole Foods, Tiffany and Starbucks. These indulgences were signs of upward mobility. But these affordable luxuries will no longer be so affordable. Suddenly, the door to the land of the upscale will slam shut for millions of Americans.”


“The members of the formerly middle class will suffer housing reversals. The current mortgage crisis is having its most concentrated effect on people on the lowest rungs of middle-class life — people who live in fast-growing exurbs in Florida and Nevada that are now rife with foreclosures; people who just moved out of their urban neighborhoods and made it to modest, older suburbs in California and Michigan. Suddenly, the home of one’s own is gone, and it’s back to the apartment complex. “

The horror!!!!!

Then I read articles like this and realize that “hard times” are relative.

“If you want to know where the next big social movements will come from, I’d say the formerly middle class.”

Nah – I’ll be jacking up my credit card at Pottery Barn, thank you very much.

The biggest booty ever

Arrrggghhh indeed.

Despite the risks, pirating has its rewards. Note the description of this pirate wedding:

"(it) lasted two days, with nonstop dancing and goat meat."

Booty, goat meat - what's not to like?

And now you don't have to go all the way to Somalia to enjoy that shivver-me-timbers goodness. No, you just need to go to Silver Spring to get your scurvy on.

We are blessed here in Montgomery County.

Monday, November 10, 2008

A vice-presidential overshare...

Embedded (heh heh) in an otherwise mundane article about everyday life and security protocols in the White House, I stumbled across the following three rather startling paragraphs:

At one time, the President and Vice-President were given three-inch-high models of the Washington Monument * to put beside their beds. They had simply to knock them over to summon the guards.

But the models were abandoned after Vice-President Dan Quayle - noted for being clumsy - knocked his over late one night while making love to his wife.

In seconds, the door burst open, the lights went on and Mrs Quayle was thrown out of bed to the floor as bodyguards flocked around her husband to ensure his safety.

Boom chicka-chick-a wah wah...

With this mental image seared in your brain, please resume your normal daily activities.

* For those of you unfamiliar with U.S. landmarks, the Washington Monument:

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Now that we've got change...

..what will Olberman et. al. blabber on about?

1. What's for dinner (beef?)
2. The heartbreak of GERD
3. The exquisite sexual tension between Nate Archibald and Dan Humphreys on Gossip Girl
4. White after Labor Day - pros and cons
5. Creed vs. Nickelback

Monday, November 03, 2008

Soon those pesky yard signs and robocalls will be moot...

Get your voter IDs, beer and standing-in-line reading material ready...

Photos taken at Bone Jour in Bethesda, MD.