Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Nothing says "morning" like a dose of sanctimonious youth...

I love my morning WAMU - and what's not to like about a station with the dulcet tones of Kojo Nnnnnnaaaammmadi.

But every so often the station brings in the teen beat and it all goes to hell.

Today it was a high school cub reporter, intoning her wisdom from the peaks of teen suburban experience. Her observation of the day:

American adults spend beyond their means.

(no kidding, Sherlock)

Her generation has noticed this. And their judgment is fierce.

After bragging about her part-time job at the sports apparel store, the earnings from which she uses to pay her own gas, she told a tragic tale: a customer came in to buy a pair of running shoes. And his credit card was rejected! "He couldn't even afford to buy a pair of shoes!"

(in the customer's defense, specialty running shoes CAN get pretty expensive)

"I might not know much about the financial responsibilities my parents have..."

(yes, like the roof over your head, the health insurance that keeps you in Retin-A and Ritalin, the organic food on your table and your school fees and tuition)

"but I do know that the middle class seems to be in trouble."

(What about the poor? Oh, they've always been in trouble. Poor life choices. I learned about that in social studies class.)

However, like all ground-breaking journalism, this piece inspired questions, such as:

- Where was all this self-righteous outrage when the adult overspending was directed towards stuff for her?


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Boom chicka chicka boom

In honor of this month of love, the National Zoo brought Shama the female red panda a Valentine's treat - a handsome mate from New Jersey, Tate Soprano. (He fell off the back of a truck, according to Zoo officials.)

Here they meet cute and exhibit "breeding behavior".

Watch in particular the spectator in the knitted Peruvian hat, shooting footage for pay-per-view.

Monday, February 09, 2009

The Westminster Dog Show is covered by ESPN ..

...and other reasons I love my TV.

(in honor of digital conversion's move from February to July).

- Morning Joe: Joe and the lovely Mika banter as Willie hovers eerily over the shoulder of Wonk du Jour - what's not to like?

- Intervention: Is it wrong for me to enjoy a beer while watching?

- No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain: Snarky when appropriate, respectful when appropriate, and way too knowledgeable of his 1970s "cinema"

- The Weather Channel:
Oddly mesmerizing

- Russia Today: As advertised on Metro

- Montgomery Cable TV: Will soon complete Montgomery County's "First ALL DIGITAL, ALL VIRTUAL Studio." Yes, life soon will be complete.

E True Hollywood Story: Some have Ken Burns. Others have "Secret Lives of Rock Star Wives"

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

So not into this movie...

On so, so very many levels...

1. How can any film starring Scarlett Johansson possibly be titled, "He's Just Not That Into You"? Is there a heterosexual male alive who does not visibly salivate at the "Lost in Translation" opening credits?

2. And those immune to Scarlett Fever drool over Drew Barrymore, another sad and undesirable spinster featured in this film.

3. Jennifer Connelly - you have an Oscar. You're married to Paul Bettany. What were you thinking?

4. And you, Jennifer Aniston. Angelina plays Lara Croft and Marianne Pearl. You play characters who whine. Time to have a sit-down with your agent, I think, and get him/her to find you some more movies like "Office Space" and "Friends With Money."

5. Yes, Ginnifer Godwin, the "Big Love" compound is looking pretty cheerful and progressive in comparison.

6. Self-help books aren't meant to be made into movies. For starters: they lack plots, story arcs, denouements, dialogue - little things like that. What next - chicken soup for the straight-to-cable soul?

7. Not only does the website spout Lilith Faire musak, there's a "Date Decoder" on it. Spin a wheel and you match what he says ("Let's do your place") with what he means ("I don't want my friends to see you.") It's like Vegas, only with self-loathing instead of a bucket of quarters as your reward.

8. "If you ever sat by the phone wondering why he said he would call but didn't, this film is for you." Translation: We may find you pathetic, but you have $12 in your pocket, and we want it.

9. Opening right before Valentine's Day. That's like playing "Wall Street" at Lehman Brothers while all the traders are packing up their desks.

10. Apparently this movie may pave the way for another "feel good" flick, "French Women Don't Get Fat." A whole movie about cutting carbs and feeling inferior. Yay.

Not surprisingly, the lady bloggers at Jezebel have some tart words:

"Here's my message to everyone who says "eh, I'm going to see it anyway." Every ticket you buy is a ballot, and you are voting for the kinds of movies you want to see more of. Hollywood is not a democracy, but it does follow a money trail. When you go see shitty chick flicks, you are giving Hollywood the green light to make more shitty chick flicks."

Monday, February 02, 2009

The Michael Phelps stimulus package

When a guy who eats 12,000 calories a day partakes of the kind bud, many sectors of the economy are bound to benefit:

- The Doritos sector
- The Taco Bell sector
- The Denny's sector
- The Gatorade sector
- The pasta sector
- The Papa John's sector

Not only that, this multi-millionaire athelete's habits are supporting agriculture, journalism and certain segments of the entertainment industry.

So smoke up, fish boy. America needs you.