To be or, like...whatever

Like Shakespeare's classics, an episode of The Hills evokes as many questions as it answers...


A JC Penney commercial pays homage to "The Breakfast Club" - mysteriously minus Ally Sheedy's "dandruff snowflake" scene. Equally surreal: Bored with her job at Teen Vogue, Lauren envies her friend's job sorting clothing at an LA boutique.

But enough exposition. On with the liveblogging:

6:28 Why's Faux Biker Chick wearing a scarf when she lives in California?

6:32 Why are she and Malibu Barbie the only diners in the employee lunchroom? (And where on the East Coast can one find such a posh cafeteria?)

6:35 Why subtitles when they're speaking English?

6:37 How did Spencer get a friend who looks like David Beckham?

6:42 Why is Whitney chomping on gum at a classy fashion show?

6:46 "How can you love and hate someone so much at the same time?" (This mourned by Heidi, who spotted Spencer doing shots with a gaggle of strumpets at a club.)

6:50 Why does Spencer on the phone sound like he's talking through a witness-protection voice scrambler?

And the eternal question...

Why?