Best road trip food ever.

Three beignets in a sack atop a lump of powdered sugar. A praline. A muffuletta as large as my head. Fortunately my rental SUV is a roomy one, as soon my derriere will be as large as my carbon footprint.

Soundtrack of the road...

Now I know why truckers love their white crosses. Driving several hours a day has roughly the same mentally numbing effect as huffing a carton of airplane glue. In such circumstances, Grey's Anatomy sensitive man-rock (e.g. "Fray for Fighting") just won't cut it. Here's what kept me from careening into a ditch:

- The Politicks

- A CD compilation by Gypsy Eyes Records

- Rage Against the Machine, inexplicably emerging on the radio somewhere in Tennessee

- Flipping back and forth between crunk and Christian across the whole state of Mississippi and most of Alabama.

- All those cheesy guilty pleasures you can only hear on rural American radio: Journey, Wham!, Billy Squier, Rick Astley (Never gonna give. You. Up. Never gonna let you down...). And is it just my imagination, or is John Waite looking pretty hot in his duet with Allison Krauss? (Thanks to Motel 6 cable, I caught this new video in between The Deadliest Catch and Who Wants To Be a Pussycat/Coyote/Hairstylist)

Note to radio stations: Even though you are all owned by Clear Channel, please remember that variety remains the spice of life. Next time I'm doing a road trip, I'm declaring my vehicle a John Mellencamp/Beyonce/Akon-free zone unless you move "to the left, to the left" of your usual stack of CDs and mix it up a little. Thank you.

ARRRRRGHH! (pirates)





I may be missing Jazz Fest, but I was just in time for the New Orleans Pirate Convention.

They assailed us on the streets at sunset, these swashbucklers. A few even took over the horse and carriages usually reserved for sedate tours. I should have seen it coming. I ate gumbo next to two of them earlier at the Gumbo Shop. But I thought they were just harmless Goth punks.

But then the pirates took to the streets. They didn't rape and pilage - the night was young, after all - but they did leave beads in their wake.

Pirates...not just in Silver Spring anymore.

Screw Atkins - New Orleans cuisine

Beyond Beads...New Orleans Fashion





Liquor isn't the only vice that will drain your wallet in this city - exquisite sundresses, jewelry, hats and all sorts of modern Southern delicacies with a European twist can be found throughout. If that black draped Balenciaga blouse at United Apparel Liquidators had been my size, I'd have been $150 poorer yet not felt a twinge of pain. (We northerners need you, UAL - please open a Washington branch!)

(Does New Orleans style include include crocs? you might ask. Well, not exactly at the boutiques. Crocs are plentiful at the souvenir shops, displayed among the plastic dog poop, Elvis bobble heads and "I got Bourbon faced on shit street!" t-shirts.)

Help New Orleans rebuild. Support local merchants.

Because many businesses are not web-enabled, or are a uniquely in-person experience, you will have to visit. This is highly recommended.

- The master French Quarter directory
- Cafe Beignet , yumminess for dining in and take-out.
- New Orleans Tours Once you're dolled up and properly fed, explore and learn some history. The "Ghosts and Vampires" tour will creep you out...in a fun Bauhaus-meets-Ken-Burns kind of way, of course.

Now for pirates...arrrrrr!!!

French Quarter Architecture Porn






Random sidewalk charm...




Continue your New Orleans journey...

Stay classy, Bourbon Street!



Continue your New Orleans journey...

Holy @#$%^, it's a bayou!

Somewhere after the Mississippi/Louisiana border, solid soil gives way beneath the highway and one begins to notice swampland on both sides. Then a few shoreside houses emerge. Then Bubba Gump's shrimp boat is all but floating beside you. Pretty much, you're driving on stilts at this point.

More stuff I wish I'd been able to photograph (from the road and elsewhere)

- The truck outside Ole Miss with the Dave Matthews sticker next to the "W" sticker

- The wedding party having their photos taken right in front of me at the the historic hotel lobby in New Orleans. (Yeah, it'd be rude to snap a few photos of my own. But wow do they look sharp.)

Soundtrack of the road...

At this point, it's all about adrenaline...

- The Replacements, "Bastards of the Young"

- That omnipresent Gwen Stefani/Akon song (woo-hoo, WOO-hoo)

Continue your New Orleans journey...

The Tour of Southern Transgression...

begins Wednesday and lasts for a full week of down-home goodness. I will be driving from DC to New Orleans, on the way stopping in Lexington, Memphis, Birmingham and Asheville, NC. If wi-fi spots are readily available, I hope to blog from the road.

West Virginia, Mountain Mama (and all of that)...